eleventyninth time

it gets me home; knowing you'll be sitting on the steps outside.one night. like you said (and i heard it, i did), and i do believe you, but it's the eleventyninth time you have plainly not been there. somenights, like today, i think i see you, hugging threadbareknees to determined chin, loved-off fur; thin hair. But from a distance. bloodraces electricsoup but you're nowhere when i get to the door. fuk maybe it wasn't you at all and just a bored smoking postman or a blown stellar shopping bag or something, just a template casting for all faces. but i don't think i could get back here every time without knowing that one time you'll stay long enough for me to sit beside you on them steps.